::mindless blabber::

its new year eve and i am at home. i did not go out anywhere but stayed at home. before i even noticed, year 2005 slipped under my nose and here comes year 2006.

year 2005 was really an eventful year for me. it has many joys, sadness and sorrow in it. it is more sad than happy moments that would make me remember year 2005. it is the year that i finally graduated. it is the year that i found out that my bf lied and cheated on me. it is the year that i broke off with my bf. well i think by now i should be referring him as my ex since 2005 is over and there is no chance for us to get back together again.

it was also the year that i learnt a lot of myself, of people and of men in particular. i find that men can always promise u everything nice and good and the heaven and the earth but when it is time for them to really sacrifice for you, they never come thru their promises. it was also the year that made me realised that it wasnt worth it for me to be sad for guy who says he loves me but he just couldnt be with me anymore. i also realized that maybe i am meant to be alone and there isnt anyone out there made for me.

i also realized that in year 2005, what i wanted in life and what i need in my life at the moment. the memories in the year 2005 would never leave me and forever leave a mark in my life. that is why i am gonna get a tattoo to commemorate it. eventhough year 2005 was more sad and sorrowful for me but then i guess all this must have happened for a reason and the reason is to make me stronger.

no doubt i feel sad and alone and miserable but then i guess this hurtful feeling would soon leave me but then it would always be there to remind me not to make the same mistakes again.

so what am i to look forward in the year 2006? hopefully a good job to expand my career overseas and also for me to move out away from my parents and family and finally be on my own. i guess that would make me happier and not so miserable. in terms of relationship-wise i guess that would have to take a seat back becoz i dun feel like having a love relationship with a guy anymore. i just do not want to get hurt anymore.. i wished my heart do not hurt but then i cant help it becoz it hurts everytime i see a couple walking by, places that remind me of him, the food that we used to enjoy together and simple things that make me remind me of him.

goodbye 2005, goodbye dearest, goodbye love, goodbye sorrow, goodbye sadness…

as for the rest of you, i hope u have a great happy new year and a good year ahead of u!