::mindless blabber::

on the 29th of March 2006, my aunt passed away peacefully. she had lung cancer at the final stage. i did not managed to see her on the day that she passed but then i saw her abt 2 weeks ago. i did not expect that her condition would become worse from that day onwards.

notably, i would like to just write a short note about her so that i would not forget her. i am not close to her in any particular way but this made me realized that i am not in any way close to any of my immediate family or even my relatives. people may think this is strange but then i think i am only close to one of my cousins.

looking back at what are the images that reminds me of my aunt. i remember during chinese new year me and my family would come and visit her house in maluri, her house was big, spacious, warm and of course with the state of the art home theatre system. her husband is a great fan of these stuffs. she has 4 daughters, one of which is the same age as i was. i used to envy my cousin coz she gets everything (also she was the youngest). my cousin got to learn ballet, piano, got a boyfriend when she was 16, a car, her own room everything a young girl would possibly want.

my aunt was a bubbly, warm and funny woman. i also remember that i love goin to her house to have her famous chocolate chips cookies and dragon cookies during the festive season. she is also a very stylish kind of person. she wears loud clothes that screams for attention.

sad to say that cancer has robbed her of the image of the woman that she used to be. about a year ago, she was diagnosed with cancer and it was the final stage. to add salt to the wounds, there are some family problems that has been ongoing between her and her husband. i do not want to go thru the details becoz i do not want to remember the bad things that goes on in her life but i just want to remember the good things in her life.

she was also a doting grandmother (she has six grandchildren), great wife and a good mother. her passing reminds me that life can sometimes be taken away from u just like that and that i should not take life for granted. it reminds me to appreciate the people that i have in my life, enjoy everyday like it is a new day and try everything out.

it also made me think that if given a chance that i have actually fallen in love with someone then i should love that someone. not that i should just put my emotions away and not venture into it. but i am still afraid that it would burn me in the end. but is it worth it to be burned than to never feel love again? i do not know.. i just do not know…