::mindless blabber::

when i was younger i always wished that i was a boy. i hate being a girl becoz there are so many rules. my mom especially put me in dresses and skirts and i am expected to sit down quietly like a gentle being. hahaha that never worked for me becoz being a young curious kid like i was went i was younger i never stood at one place quietly. well it was said that i am a boy in disguise of a girl. i was the monkey around the house when i was younger. my maternal grandma (bless her and she is still goin on strong at 90) had the stamina and the strength to actually keep up with me. i get grounded so many times when i was younger becoz i used to take my bike and ride around my town and always come back real late in the evening.

i caught snakes, lizards, cats, dogs and brought them home. my grandma once screamed havoc when i brought some frogs home becoz they were jumping everywhere in her house. hmmm the perils of being a kid. i always hang with boys and i prefer to hang with them becoz they were less complicated than girls. yupe even at the very young age, i found other girls to be way too classy to hang with me. but i never bothered with their primmmed up dresses and playing with barbie dolls.

when i reach the adolescent years, i became even more desperate to be a boy than a girl. i started to developed ehem.. breasts and i hated them becoz guys would stare at them. yes yes yes by the age of ten i was almost fully developed and when i reached 12, full blossoms in the air. hahahah i hated it so much that i rebel against my parents and started to wear baggy and black coloured clothes and cut my hair real short. i wasnt afraid to talk back at guys and much more fought with a few of them when i was still in primary school. yupe i fought with one of the gangster kids in school. that fella pissed me off then i had his stuff in the dustbin and then he took my books and threw it in the bin. i was so mad that i kicked and punched the guy. one of the male teacher gave both of us one slap each. i remembered that day very well..

then came my teenage years and i still hate being a girl and my dad sent me to an all girl school. luckily there are a few types of girls in school. one that are those really prim and proper and the other group nerds and those really genuis type that excel in everything (looks, sports, talent, luck, rich), the rebels (i was in this group in my later years), the wall flowers (the nobodies that no one ever remembered) and some other types. when i first went to school, i was the wallflower for 3 years then i got really pissed with the world and became a rebel. i still hate being a girl.

well after high school and comes college years where i was in the verge of discovering myself. i felt attracted to guys but never really came by to really like a guy. having my heart broken after finding out the guy i really liked was with my good friend in college and being the last person to ever find that out. and she knew that i really liked the guy. back then i was still a tomboy, never wore skirt and heels. i really hate myself being a girl becoz not only we are the ones that get hurt in relationships but we tend to suffer more than guys.

women are always in the down side of things. we bleed once every month and some lucky people like myself suffer from terrible migraines and cramps and all that stupid things. we waste money having to buy expensive sanitary pads and painkillers. we get unwanted urges to eat all kinds of things at that time. and when its over, we are in risk of getting ourselves pregnant if we do not take precautionable measures like a condom and contraceptive pills. if women just goes off and boinks with guys, she is called a slut but when a guy does it with anyone with tits, he is the MAN! so unfair. and when women get pregnant, they have to carry the baby for a painstaking 9 months and after that we have to suffer the pain of child birth. after childbirth, men find us unattractive and look for someone else or just imagined they are boinking someone else in bed. women have the responsibility to taking care of children and if the child goes bad, the mother is often blamed for it.. why women have to suffer so much?

being a woman of this modern age doesnt bring much comfort nor differences at all. i wished i could lead a life like how a guy would. but that cant be done, women tend to think and care too much. f*ck it why why why??

after those lack lustre years of being a woman, it only dawned to me when i reached my young adult life that being a woman is actually somewhat of a blessing in disguise. i came to realised that having a set of boobs and buns is really beneficial. men tend to give in to women that way.. i also realized that i have acquired some skills that women are good in like manipulating people, plotting, deceptive, organized and intuitive. i am good in playing the reverse pyschology game with guys (oppss now my secret is out…) i like being organized and neat (yes yes the obsessive compulsive behaviour is starting to show itself isnt it?) sort of remind me of the Patrick Bateman from the American Pyscho movie. i love that character it was so cool. christian bale has such a great bod in that movie.. i know i am diverting the post here but i cant help it.

let me show u how he looks in the movie..

see what i mean? which gal could resist not thinking abt his bod??

go watch the movie. it is so profound and dark and i have a thing for dark and sadistic movies like these.

hahaha now i really enjoy being a woman. maybe the early ages of being a girl has not been easy for me. well enjoying except when its that time of the moment.. i still have those stupid cramps and migraines. hmmm… blessings in disguise indeed.