journey back home…
after spending 3 days back in KL with my family it was a welcoming sight to be back to penang. not that i do not like goin back to KL but then i really prefer my own place to hang. 3 days may seem short but long enough for me to be sane while spending time with my parents.
reason being home for 3 days is that i had my graduation convocation to attend on Sunday. finally, the official graduation after waiting for so bloody long. in fact i have actually graduated in December 2005 and gotten the official results in April 2006. well due to cost saving effort by my college, they decided to have the ceremony once a year instead of twice a year like previous years. such cheapstakes..
as normal when the whole family is together there is bound to be arguements and small fights between each member. this time the arguements were between my mom, bro and sis. my mom could be really a pain sometimes. she doesnt say what is that is bothering her or what she really wants us to do. she just say something and she expect us to decipher the hidden meaning behind what she just told you to do. and that is exactly what happened. despite my mom being cross with everyone. i was the peacekeeper this time. surprisingly i did not lose my temper or scolded or being cross with my mom. surprising huh? normally we would be neck to neck with each other and just killing each other silently with our cold stares or sarcactic remarks.
my dad mentioned this to me when he was sending me to the bus station on monday. he told me that he noticed that i was not as hot temper or in a short fuse like how i was when i was back in KL. maybe the change of environment has really done some good for me. or maybe not staying with my parents made me a more relaxed, sane and not so uptight. i used to be so uptight, almost most of the time i would be so stressed about everything. i would feel like i am under a microscope when i am with my parents. my parents brought us up that showing our real emotions in public is not encouraged. let’s say if we do not like that person, we still have to act gracious and be nice to that person. f*ck man.. u do not know how many times we had to play pretend like that especially when we are with our relatives.
my parents believe that we should act like that so that ppl would think we are all one big happy family. do not know why… anyway especially when we are with my dad’s relatives like my uncles and aunts. we have to act nice to my uncle eventhough i hated his guts. he was the one that complained to my dad when i was 10. i was riding my bike around my housing area (back when we all used to stay near each other when my paternal grandparents were still alive) i was only 10 and was wearing shorts. obviously when you are biking, of course wear shorts lar.. nothing wrong with that when you are just 10. you are just being a kiddo. riding a bike is such an enjoyable thing to do for a 10 year old kiddo.. but know what my uncle did? he called my dad and scold him for allowing me go biking around town half naked…half naked? i was wearing a tshirt and shorts.. what the f*ck is that then? my uncle has this delusion that he is the most religious person in the family. yeah right… let me tell you what he did to my dad. he pursuaded my dad to buy land saying it is a good deal. then without telling my dad he sold off his plot and then my dad’s land was being occupied by illegal immigrants. now my dad is left with a useless plot of land becoz the immigrants build their house there. what kind of blood brother would do that to your own brother?
not only that, my uncle knows that my dad has been retrenched and that was waiting for his EPF to come out. he had the cheek to ask my dad to lend him some money so that he can pay for his new house for renovations. my uncle pleaded saying no money and all that. when my dad refuse he then told everyone my dad was selfish. then when we went to his house for open house, my uncle bragged to everyone saying that he was debtless and the house was fully paid with cash. f*ck… no money : his wife’s arms was full of gold bracelets. bugger ppl…and my parents still insist we have to be nice to these kind of ppl. my uncle’s wife is so arrogant and when she talks to you, u would have the feeling that she is saying things sarcastically and talking down on you. especially when i graduated much much later than her son (my arrogant cousin brother who is older than me one year) my cousin was sponsored by government scholarship and he did TESL (Teaching English as 2nd Language) but failed to get any interviews in private owned companies.. reason : cant speak english well… hahahahah graduated with TESL but english is bad… that is such a joke! i can just go on and on.. but then enough of venting off..
so i think i got this kind of attitude from my parents, being nice to ppl despite of all the bad things that they have done to me. but deep down inside i am secretly plotting for their downfall. waiting for that day to come upon them.. muahahahaha… just plotting and hoping all the worst things that could happen to ppl. that makes my day everytime. so whenever you see me smiling wickedly all by myself, that is me imagining the downfall of all these ppl who have wronged me… well there is a lot of difference when saying it rather than doing it.
anyway my journey back home was fruitful. it was good meeting and catching up with ex classmates. seeing their beaming faces when we go up the stage to get our scrolls. taking pictures with the whole family to show that at last i have graduated. it has been a long journey but it was worth every minute of it. the entire journey had not been easy and for the faint hearted, i managed to get thru with it and despite all the setbacks that i had, i survived and got thru with good results.
being dramatic here..
hopefully i would be more hardworking in updating my blog as well.. hahahah that is a promise i made to myself at least.
